Post by Sue on Mar 13, 2020 12:40:52 GMT
Welcome back everyone to what is our 16th season covering Speedway.
It's been a hard winter, we have lost an amazing man and sports person in Danny Ayres to the cruel thing that is mental health. Now, I normally keep these welcome back threads upbeat and jaunty but mental health has for some time been the massive elephant in the room for me, my constant hell hound companion. I hide my battle scars of mental health well, in fact very few have known...I'm one of those that doesn't talk about it, doesn't ask for help, doesn't really publicise it and so Danny's struggle and untimely death resonated with me hugely and had a profound impact.
On the 23rd March 2005, I very shakily and nervously pressed the button to start this site, albeit at the time I only thought it was going to be a temporary home. May 21st 2005 my world fell apart, the final straw that broke the camel's back occurred (not speedway or this site related) and that sent me from teetering over the cliff edge that I had been experiencing for a time into barrelling down the cliff face into a complete mental and physical breakdown. Publicly, no-one would have known, I was still being the public CrazySue but privately it was hell. I was such a risk of the unthinkable (and I still struggle to say THAT word), that I was only allowed very limited amounts of medication and had to see the doctor every couple of days for another two day supply and to keep a check on me. I was a hair breadth away from being sectioned but escaped it through the doctor's insistence on seeing him every other day, if I had refused, then he would have had no choice.
I cut myself off from everyone and as someone who at the time had been a very active member of MSN and speedway chatrooms, that was unusual. That's what I do though, when the world becomes black, I go silent, I hide. Thankfully, my absence was noticed by a few people in the speedway world and they cornered me at the Cardiff GP (I went but stayed away from all the crowds, meet ups etc) and I opened up. They then insisted that I talk, they would badger me on MSN, send me texts and made me speak to them and it was them that got me through, diverted me enough to think about something else than my desire to not to be here.
So talk people, if things seem bleak...talk! It really does help and it really can make a difference. It doesn't always have to be someone who specialises in it (although they of course have the expertise) but simply opening up to someone else as a first step can make a real difference.
Onto other things, Covid-19 could have an impact on this season, for the moment, everything is continuing as normal but this is a fast moving beast and it could all change very quickly and things could become very tough, very quickly for our dear sport and of course our loved ones. So keep safe everyone, be mindful of hygiene measures at home and whilst at meetings, get into the habit of elbow bumping, using Namaste greetings or just holding a hand up in greeting as whilst in most it is a mild illness, there are a fair few in society who could be really at risk of its impact. It's not just the older generation, there are younger ones with immune issues or underlying conditions (my youngest son and myself are in this group) too.
And with that I will sign off...welcome back and I hope everyone has a good (and safe) season.
Sue
It's been a hard winter, we have lost an amazing man and sports person in Danny Ayres to the cruel thing that is mental health. Now, I normally keep these welcome back threads upbeat and jaunty but mental health has for some time been the massive elephant in the room for me, my constant hell hound companion. I hide my battle scars of mental health well, in fact very few have known...I'm one of those that doesn't talk about it, doesn't ask for help, doesn't really publicise it and so Danny's struggle and untimely death resonated with me hugely and had a profound impact.
On the 23rd March 2005, I very shakily and nervously pressed the button to start this site, albeit at the time I only thought it was going to be a temporary home. May 21st 2005 my world fell apart, the final straw that broke the camel's back occurred (not speedway or this site related) and that sent me from teetering over the cliff edge that I had been experiencing for a time into barrelling down the cliff face into a complete mental and physical breakdown. Publicly, no-one would have known, I was still being the public CrazySue but privately it was hell. I was such a risk of the unthinkable (and I still struggle to say THAT word), that I was only allowed very limited amounts of medication and had to see the doctor every couple of days for another two day supply and to keep a check on me. I was a hair breadth away from being sectioned but escaped it through the doctor's insistence on seeing him every other day, if I had refused, then he would have had no choice.
I cut myself off from everyone and as someone who at the time had been a very active member of MSN and speedway chatrooms, that was unusual. That's what I do though, when the world becomes black, I go silent, I hide. Thankfully, my absence was noticed by a few people in the speedway world and they cornered me at the Cardiff GP (I went but stayed away from all the crowds, meet ups etc) and I opened up. They then insisted that I talk, they would badger me on MSN, send me texts and made me speak to them and it was them that got me through, diverted me enough to think about something else than my desire to not to be here.
So talk people, if things seem bleak...talk! It really does help and it really can make a difference. It doesn't always have to be someone who specialises in it (although they of course have the expertise) but simply opening up to someone else as a first step can make a real difference.
Onto other things, Covid-19 could have an impact on this season, for the moment, everything is continuing as normal but this is a fast moving beast and it could all change very quickly and things could become very tough, very quickly for our dear sport and of course our loved ones. So keep safe everyone, be mindful of hygiene measures at home and whilst at meetings, get into the habit of elbow bumping, using Namaste greetings or just holding a hand up in greeting as whilst in most it is a mild illness, there are a fair few in society who could be really at risk of its impact. It's not just the older generation, there are younger ones with immune issues or underlying conditions (my youngest son and myself are in this group) too.
And with that I will sign off...welcome back and I hope everyone has a good (and safe) season.
Sue
